I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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