Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize