whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
