I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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