i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
being pregnant is like rehab
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
