road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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