I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
