I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
