Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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