I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize