im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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