Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
