the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
