put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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