He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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