and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
