im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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