Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize