Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
