i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
