I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
