i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I will be naked everywhere
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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