Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just forgot I was standing up.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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