Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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