I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
id be glad to
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
