just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
