he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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