It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
