On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
