the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I understand Curling. That high.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
