Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
