I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
