hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
so much tequila, so little girl.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
