Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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