no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize