why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize