She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Your cock deserves a montage
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
where are my eyebrows?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
