Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize