So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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