i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
