with your own penis?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize