I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
