What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
