I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
