Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
