I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
