He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
