White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
