My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
