We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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