The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
