you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
