its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
