so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
