he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Randomize
