11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize
