I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
