like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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