It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
