i think my mom watched the whole time
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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