just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
